How often do you watch the news on TV?
07.06.2025 06:06
13-Jon Stewart — He comes back on occasion and gives Trump and Kamala and all these people the business. They’re not happy he does that either.
16-Cuomo — Dumb fucking idiot.
If we did nothing but watch news all day at my place—
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1-Morning Joe — The 24-hour period begins at 5 AM. Because since we have a full day to mess around, we’re getting McDonalds at 7 AM because we’re gonna have a discussion about what Joe and Mika talk about on our walk. Otherwise we could just go in the drive-thru. Morning Joe features Joe Scarborough and Mika Berzenski who is now his wife. Joe was an Alabama graduate in 1985, so since I like Bama football my tail wags whenever he brings them up. He however went to the House of Representatives in 1990 for Florida and was a penis. He fought all that nice legislation that would have made the unemployment process smoother. Instead he’s of the ilk that would enable DeSantis to avoid having it on paper that someone lost a job in his state. To give out benefits would be to acknowledge that job loss. He’s essentially Liz Cheney. That’s why he’ll easily turn on Trump but was in on the joke when he was making fun of the guy with cerebral palsy in 2016. Before Trump made a tweet talking about Mika’s “bloody face lift while trying to get into the Maralago”, true story, like he was DeNiro in Casino after getting denied his license, just goes on and starts talking MAD shit. Before this happened, these two assholes LOVED Trump. As not only a friend and a gimmick but as a pleasant alternative…to Obama! Trump, they said, showed results. What has Obama shown? (Scarborough is a disingenuous prick. His whole political movement was about putting the mechanisms in place for Mitch McConnell to think and be right about getting away with outright declaring the intention of the Republicans in Congress is to make Obama a one-term president.) But now that Trump has been in his head for years, Morning Joe usually has three major components — 1) Joe slaps his wife around psychologically in front of a television audience of women who have made an abusive boyfriend situation to be secondary in their lives. So they recognize when it’s time to fight back when a guy goes “nobody gives a crap what you just said”. He means “Republican Congress because you’re a Democrat”. But a woman who watches MSNBC might not be thinking “that’s how a man does it” and “handle your business”, she’s thinking “there’s other ways to put that, asshole.” Only it’s clear that when it’s all done, these two go home and f it out. 2) Joe loves his dicky little Boston teams that are not Celtics. He hops all around the Celtics. Wow! Boston last night! (The Celtics went up 3–2 in a series, mind you)…Red Sox were on fire. (DOH). And then his dicky little friend comes on and says yeah boss, you’re right boss, baseball baseball. It’s remarkable how guys like this kill it at baseball. When they’re on national TV talking about baseball, there’s 2,000 actual aspiring anchors with Republican ideology and baseball experience going why not me? So if you take them, they’ll hit everything, field everything. And then third…Wegovy costs 900 dollars in America and 57 dollars in Western Europe in order to pay them.
14-Stephen Colbert — On CBS. I haven’t watched in a while but when it looked like Mueller was going to get him, he was the primary source for the story, and I always hoped Mueller was watching. Guess not. Imagine how up your own ass you gotta be to know you’re being talked about on national television and just…not even acknowledge it?
10-Rachel Maddow — This lady charms everyone, right, then she says I got Trump’s Tax Returns and you aren’t gonna wanna miss this shit, we’re featuring it in a two-part episode tomorrow night, entitled Rachel Maddow Presents The Truth Starring me, Rachel Maddow. You can get it in Hi-Def as well, available to be purchased on iTunes blah blah blah…so all these people around the country turn this into an event like the finale of Survivor or something…or the royal wedding…there are bar owners who are anticipating business for these people like it’s Laci Peterson’s husband’s verdict…all so Maddow can present the one set of tax returns that Trump filed honestly. Everyone is let down. Everyone is CONFUSED…for instance…maybe we just didn’t understand the tax forms she explained. Fuck her. That was the biggest rip off con bull shit move ever and she never apologized even as she addressed the backlash the next night. She said “I’m sorry if you had worked in your minds to believe it would be something bigger then it was, and sometimes we anticipate wrongly”. Uh-huh.
6-ABC News at 4 — After Jeopardy, we get local updates about all the bad things that happened today in Chicago and vicinity. It’s like going to homeroom. Getting our mail and such.
3–12 PM Press Briefing — This shit is nuts. I hate both of them. First there was Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Just a bitch. It was one thing that she was ugly. She couldn’t help that, but she said lies SLOWLY. And it was always some condescending bully garbage. Fuck her. And her grifting ass CASH4GOLD ass dad. No one hearts any Huckabees! Booooooo
8-Ari Melber — You could cynically say that he’s there to be the Reverend Lovejoy. He unsuccessfully tries to get young people into this bullshit by reciting lyrics of black rappers he worships. But he’s on at like 5.
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5-Nicole Wallace — She’s got a two hour show. She has John Kerry on. So one was a Sarah Palin assistant — Nicole was the eighth person in the world to know McCain picked Palin in 2008 — and Kerry blew a layup of an election and put everyone’s lives at risk. I love how — since Kerry’s loss in November, 2004 — they still haven’t figured out how to deal with a Katrina. From 2005. We still get Vesuvias-destroying-Pompeii events taking place on major American cities. They dump so much oil and other man-made garbage into the oceans, we lost New Orleans, Houston, Miami, Tampa Bay and now Nashville, Atlanta, and Charlotte. It began with this idiot in the first debate in 2004 outing Dick Cheney’s daughter because he wanted to make a point about how Cheney is a hypocrite. And then what did Cheney and them do in response? Made gay marriage an issue in decision 2004 when it wasn’t before ever.
9-Joy Reid — She’s born to be a commentator, and she’s the most left of them all, but if she’s gonna have Michael Steele on, she’s not really left. But she, like Ari in all fairness, have in fact done the best jobs of articulating Bernie Sanders’s democratic socialism.
12-Lawrence O Donnell — Jimmy Dore hates this guy. He calls him a “tough guy” who “wants to fight” and “it’s time he should!” O’Donnell is good at what he does. He gets indignant, and puts things in a specific fourth dimensional context. He gives Republican lawmakers something to think about before they go to bed. He imagines that if he had a big ego, the first thing he’d wonder after the kids and the wife all go to sleep…is where he ranks in history. What he’s telling people who would give tours in his museum. So this is what he does with all the news we’ve heard all day so far. Tries to shame you like your favorite teacher would.
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2-Outnumbered — I love Sandra Smith. Her legs, her butt, her little simpleton take on the world, gimme some. Smart women are fine, but dumb like Sandra Smith is nice too. All the rest of them suck. They wear too much make-up. And it’s Fox News so not only is it straight up evil ignorance, but the make-up they wear is on a cheap cheap screen. It’s florescent. It makes everyone look like they were directly pasted on. The black lines around their bodies have actual depth, like from the top of a mountain. Almost shadows.
15-Stephanie Ruhle — Ugggg. Yes bitch, if Jaime Dimon wants to spit in my eye, it’s justified because he’s better then me because he’s richer. Your wisdom is worth yelling at people for an hour.
4-Katy Tur — I love Katy Tur. She has great boobies, and her pupils are all beady like Harry Monster from Sesame Street.
11-Alex Wagner — Her replacement. She was the annoying little chipmunk from the Circus on HBO who, with the same kind of excitement as for Obama’s election, says, in reference to a Trump rally…”This is truly an exciting time in politics.” No…what it is…is a sad and pathetic time in politics, Alex. A violent and dangerous and mean-spirited and thoroughly trashy and low class time in politics. And MSNBC doesn’t know how to put make-up on this girl — the last thing she needs is to look skinnier and they apply this rouge to her cheekbones that makes her look 45 pounds. She’s funny when she comes back from vacation. There’s no way you can’t tell. She is bronzer then a mafa.
17-CNN — International news starts at 11 or midnight usually. Then you got five hours until Morning Joe.
7-CBS Evening News — With Scott Pelley, it had an EPIC 5 second symphony intro. DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA…this is the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley (as recited by an old man)…DA-DA-Daaaa….Good evening, I’m Scott Pelley… On youtube it’s under “CBS Evening News Opening and Ending (Western Edition)”. Western Edition it says.